| - - MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HOLIDAYS & HAPPY NEW YEEEAAR!!! *LUBLUB* to all my home G's! hahaha 
so my nikon D70 hasnt come...yet. ritz and ups hates me so they screwed me in the arse. a month and prollymore withOUT a camera, i am blinded. a camera is like an extension of my retina. so it feelsVERY weird not to have a fuctioning one. i do carry my broken useless camera around me, it helps, and yes i have issues. i was insanely pissed that ups lost my package, and ritz aint
doing a frikken thing. but i'm setting a different lighton this situation. i could say it's a good thing because it's testing my patience, tho i do think a certain OTHER situation has been doing it to me already . but meh *shrugs* things
happen for a reason and it's for the best. my main source of me not going insane is the humungo amount of inspiration i`m getting from professional photographers (pdnonline.com) and those people who are getting there (deviantart.com). there are things that remind me of the bad things, the things that say that i should give up (and this is not focused on this camera problem, this is for everything) but there are always those reminders that motivates me to become who i want to be. it's all up to me to remind myself what i want and need in life. like i said to a certain person, whatever will happen will happen. and when it does, it'll be for a reason, and most likely, for the best. i shouldnt let things get the best of me becoz i think it's so horrible, unfair and an endless
of other negative words, coz i know the good things will come out of them eventually. i just have to wait and take action once i see an opening.  
this week went by insanely fast. that sucks poo =[. and to make it worse, ive been VERY unproductive and family problems started to rise..holiday stress? o_O; i dunno. i have two humungo projects to do.. T_T; imma just DEAL and get it over with.............soon.. im procrastinating again, but it's coz the time is going by SO fast!!! 
x-mas is tomorrow, and to be honest, it's kinda boring. i have no family around here, theyre all back in indo. x-mas is lonely for me. but im used to it, hopefully next year it will be better. i dont wanna sound ungrateful. i'm blessed that i have a family, two other people woo so much, to be here with me, but stiiiiilll. it doesnt feel the same with cousins, g-pa's and g-ma's, aunts and uncles. =] but im optimistic for next year, my first x-mas and first year in college. i CANT WAIT. i hope i could spend it with my special somebody (<33) and my lovely friends & family <3.i have big plans x333. x_x i always have big plans for the future, thus, i have big expectations, therefooore i get disappointed a lot.. i cant help it tho =\
yea otay, i`m tired..tired of what emma?(coz you havent done sheyoot), well emma#2, im tired of being unproductive and sitting in b&n reading manga and mag's for HOURS coz i dont have a life.
oh yaaw, i thought of a cool nickname for myself coz i was, OH WAT? guess! bored and unnnproductiiive! yep that's rite *ahem* on to the nick name
*drumrolls* EMZILLA. yea bow down beeyotch. PH34R MEEH.
<3
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okay im lying to myself. i dont feel like doing anything but stay in bed and listen to sad love songs now. BUT..I CANT! i cant cant cant.. caaaaaaaaaaaaaan't >=OOOOOOOOO *war scream*. *ahem* 
